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User talk:The Creepy Artist
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:The Creepy Artist page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SoPretentious (talk) 00:36, June 3, 2016 (UTC) However the story is not up to quality standards and violates the spinoff rule. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:37, June 3, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:56, June 3, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:56, June 3, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:34, June 3, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:30, July 23, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story I'm sorry, but we have the writer's workshop for people looking for help. Having a disability is not really a valid excuse when there are multiple outlets for assistance here. Your story was deleted for not meeting quality standards. There are numerous capitalization, punctuation, wording, grammatical, and story issues here. Capitalization: You improperly capitalize numerous words. "While I looked for him I came upon a door closed next to his bedroom, When (when)", "When i (I) heard a thud a man with a mask on", "I Demanded but he rolled up", "what (What) are you going to do you bitch staple me to death", "death(?)" he (He) picked up a paper with a circle with an X through it.", "are (Are) you having as much fun as me", "to (Too) bad it has to end", "what (What) is the matter mother", etc. Punctuation: You don't use commas where they are needed. "My name is Cameran and Dan(,) one of my friends(,) started a channel by the name of Fast Attack.", "A tall man was in it(,) he wore a black suit and was abnormally tall", "While I looked for him(,) I came upon a door closed next to his bedroom", "After the sighting(,) he knocked me out(.) after about two hours I woke up(,) I was in a basement and the man just stood there.", etc.I would strongly suggest reading the story aloud to yourself to see where natural pauses come, generally those areas need punctuation of some sort. Punctuation cont.: Punctuation missing from dialogue or used incorrectly. ""Let me go",(comma should go inside of quotations)", ""Your insane(comma missing)"", ""what are you going to do you bitch(,) staple me to death(?)"", ""are you having as much fun as me(?)".", ""to bad it has to end(.)"", etc. Wording: Awkward wording. "When i heard a thud a man with a mask on", "he ran after me after he saw me and to try to run and guess who it is so I looked at his clothes he wore a yellow hoodie with his hood up and blue jeans.", "I saw one of his eyes were (was) normal(,) as for the other it was black and red.". Redundancies. "...revealing my back and stapled the paper to my back(avoid saying the same word multiple times in the same sentence)" Grammar: Your=possession, you're=you are. "Your (you're) insane", ""WHAT THE HELL(,) YOUR (you're) CRAZY"", etc. Remember if you are writing a contraction (two words written as one like: can't, you're, wouldn't), you should apostrophize the word. Story issues: Here's where a lot of issues were. "He was holding a (an) old rusty fishing hook he had found laying around" How does the protagonist know this? How exactly does he know where the man came across the item he's using? "she pointed out to my sister being taken to the forest by this man who tortured me." Why exactly if the kidnapper is plain sight and the mother knows what's coming is she not trying to get help or stopping him? Story issues cont.: "Dan started hanging out with two guys by the Names of Tim Sutton and Brian Thomas" What bearing does this have on the story? Who are these people and why are they important at all to the story? They're mentioned by their full names, yet we have no explanation for why this detail is important at all. Story issues end: There are more issues present in the plot itself, but I'm just going to focus on the ending as this is already pretty long. The ending needs a lot of work. "But to end this story I still wake up to a man eating some of my flesh in the middle of the night." Do you mean the protagonist wakes up from nightmares of the man eating his flesh? If you mean he's actually waking up to that, then there is a pretty massive problem here. How exactly is the man sneaking in and eating the protagonist on multiple occasions? Why is the protagonist introducing this detail so late in the story? Why has no one taken any measure to stop him? I'm sorry, but these were just a few of the issues that were present in your story. I strongly suggest using the writer's workshop for your next story as there were a massive amount of issues here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:04, July 23, 2016 (UTC)